In God We Trust.

As we are preparing for the "Colorado Homeschool Day at the Capitol".
I have been thinking a lot about our theme this year and what it means to me. My son and I are Chairing the committee for the displays and the first time ever poetry contest. Kev is also very involved with the skits and teaching for the younger children. It is a joy to see him blooming and coming into his own. Our theme for this year is "In God We Trust"
I wonder, What does this really mean? Do I totally trust Him? do I trust in myself and then scream like a little child "Daddy Help!", when I have made a total mess of things? Have I turned my children and my finances and every aspect of my life over to Him, or do I still have a death grip on my life and loves?
I am learning that God does not tempt me, but that He does test me. In the midst of my trials am I like Job or like his wife. Do I praise Him even in the midst of the trial or am I tempted to "curse God and die?" As I read the Psalms, I see so much written about the trials. As a matter of fact the Bible is filled with trials and tests. Old and New Testaments a like are filled with the trials and tests of God's people and even of the Saviour Himself. God says He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow, so why am I so shocked that there are trials and tests in my life? God loves me and I should count it all joy. He loves me enough to stretch and grow me. He is refining me, and drawing me to Himself. Instead of feeling picked on, abused and rejected, I pray I will see it for what it is. The Most High, Supreme, God, Loves me and calls me His child. I have been adopted and I am a full heir. It is my own selfish, sinful pride that tempts me, but it is my Loving, Sovereign Lord Who tests me. Sin is my choice and is an abomination. Tests are the Lord refining and purifying me.
This may all seem very obvious to some people, but I am a little slow sometimes and so this is mind boggling to me. I think I have grip on the whole concept and then I see it goes even deeper.
Can I truly say In God I trust, or is it more honest to say I am still learning to trust? He is worthy and it is His due. I believe that it must start in the hearts and lives of men and women, then our children see by example and then our nation.
I am still processing this and the Lord is still working on me with this one, so I am sure there will be more in regards to this. Right now I am overwhelmed by all that is running through my heart and head. So I will have to continue with this over time.
All I do know for sure is that I am so grateful He loves me and that I not He, have come up short and lacking.

God's Grace and Mercy

Ok, as promised I am going to give you just a little insight into our past year. Our adventure started on Dec 28, 2007 with a phone call. A phone call I will never forget, it was a call like non other and I pray there will never be another like it. Accusations were made and I thought this is crazy, so far fetched and beyond my comprehension. Honestly, I thought it all was a bad dream. then an interview with an police officer and in February we were told charges had been brought. NO WAY, this is a nightmare, Dear God Help us, this can not be. Well it was and the Lord was there every horrible, miserable step of the way. We went through a time I pray no other parents or sons or daughters ever have to go through. Although I know we are not the first and sadly we will not be the last, this will happen to. The first thing I did was call the Elders in my church and they were there. My precious son and I were not alone. Let me tell you, I am so very grateful for my Elders and for their wives. One in particular has become a dear friend and she is my sister. I love her, she has seen and heard me at my worst, yes, there were tears and tons of frustration. I would love to tell you that I kept it together and trusted the Lord all along, sadly the truth is I ranted, raved complained and wept. The momma bear in me came out and I turned to this and another precious sister. My son turned to the dear dear men in our church. There were a few who knew everything and they were there for my precious son. I have been blessed to see a boy who started out with a huge chip on his shoulder, he had always felt betrayed and neglected. His father had been gone since he was 6 months old. He had been praying for a Dad since he was a small boy of 5 or 6. He was angry and hurt, he saw boys with their dad's and now this? "What does God want from me?" he asked. He found out. God wanted everything, He wanted total surrender and He wanted this boy to cry out to his Father. His Father who had never left him or forsaken him. To his Father who had heard every prayer and seen every tear, who knew his deepest fears and who loved him as no other. The Father who longed to have his son come to Him, to call out and to seek Him. This Father loves this young man so much that He was willing to do whatever it took to turn the boys heart to his Father. I have seen and am seeing this young man change from an angry boy to a loving young man. He has been through the valley of the shadow of death and he was not alone. His Father, was there and He had other men there with this son. My son now sees he is blessed and has many fathers, and that his Daddy is bigger and more loving than any of them. From a boy who only read his Bible when he was told, to a young man I catch reading and studying his Bible at all hours. From a boy who protested when asked to pray, to a young man who now loves to pray.
This past year, there were times that it looked as though my precious son was being railroaded, and that there was no hope. From a public defender who wanted to plea, and did not have time to fight, to a DA who wanted a conviction no matter what it took. Social Services, Guardian Ad-Lidem, Pretrail release, bond, booking, call in everyday, check in everyday every time we went anywhere or did anything. My son was "tomato staked" to me for just over a year. We were always together. What at first sounded like it would be a burden, became a huge blessing. I got to know my son, really know him. I have always loved him but I really like him. He is funny, with a dry wit. He loves to cook and bake. He is passionate and amazing. He has a passion for life and a depth of spirit I never imagined. He is an inspiration to me, and I am blessed to be his mother. I am beginning to see the man he will become, and I really like what I see. I see a 15 1/2 year old who knows the value of friendship and who cherishes those in his life. This was a rough time and it was scary at times, but through it all God was in control and on January 14, 2009 charges were dropped and victory was His. 13 long months and the Lord was there all along, we praise His Holy Name and sing of his Glory. The Lord fought this battle and triumphed. Victory was not just had in that court room, but the great battle was fought and won in the hearts and lives of God's children. My son knows that the victory is the Lord's and now he loves and is committed to his Father in Heaven. He is now leading us in family worship and will be leading, with the guidance and direction of the dear men in our church, a bible study in February. This was not even possible a year ago. My heart is overjoyed and there is joy, real joy in the Lord. In November 2007, I prayed that the Lord would grab a hold of my son's heart and that He would do whatever it took to convict him of God's love. I prayed that it would truly be well with my soul, and I know that God loves and answers the prayers of His children. I can say to you

"It is Well With My Soul"

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,When sorrows like sea billows roll;Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Refrain
It is well, with my soul,It is well, with my soul,It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,Let this blest assurance control,That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
Refrain
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!My sin, not in part but the whole,Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
Refrain
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:If Jordan above me shall roll,No pang shall be mine, for in death as in lifeThou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
Refrain
But, Lord, ‘tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,The sky, not the grave, is our goal;Oh trump of the angel! Oh voice of the Lord!Blessèd hope, blessèd rest of my soul!
Refrain
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,Even so, it is well with my soul.
Refrain

words written by Ho­ra­tio G. Spaf­ford
This hymn was writ­ten af­ter two ma­jor trau­mas in Spaf­ford’s life. The first was the great Chi­ca­go Fire of Oc­to­ber 1871, which ru­ined him fi­nan­cial­ly (he had been a weal­thy bus­i­ness­man). Short­ly af­ter, while cross­ing the At­lan­tic, all four of Spaf­ford’s daugh­ters died in a col­li­sion with an­o­ther ship. Spaf­ford’s wife Anna sur­vived and sent him the now fa­mous tel­e­gram, “Saved alone.” Sev­er­al weeks lat­er, as Spaf­ford’s own ship passed near the spot where his daugh­ters died, the Ho­ly Spir­it in­spired these words. They speak to the eter­nal hope that all be­liev­ers have, no mat­ter what pain and grief be­fall them on earth.

What I have been up too! A Moderen Day Miracle.

I have been very busy working on my business website and getting some advertising with Facebook. I love to sew, and my business website is www.bloomersnmore.com I am preparing for Valentines and for Easter. I have a facebook account and am now advertising with them, let's see how cost effective this is. Oh I also have an account with ETSY. I am finally really into the mind set to push my business. I am amazed how much clearer my mind is now that a year long trial has finally come to an end.

Okay, let me back up to November 2007. As usual I was unable to sleep and being in chronic pain I was fighting depression. At about 3 in the morning, I cried out to the Lord, my heart heavy and overburdened. My then 14 year old son was rebelling and I could see his heart hardening and I just could not seem to reach him, as I said I was in pain, overwhelmed, depressed and I had reached a point of total desperation. I was listening to some hymns trying to calm my spirit, when "It is Well with My Soul" come on. Oh how I pleaded with the Lord that early morning for that to be real for me and not just words to a song I would sing. I begged and pleaded with the Lord to do whatever it took to take me to that place, and for Him to do whatever it took to soften my son's heart and to make it soft and fleshy, and filled with a longing and yearning for His Word and for His ways. I am reading my journal and I can tell you, these were cries from the depth of my soul and the bottom of my heart. I just knew we could not continue as we were.

Let me tell you the Lord answers prayer, oh, and in ways you cannot imagine. Come on this incredible journey with me.

Health

Oh to be healthy. when I think of what that means, sadly physical health is what comes first to mind, this is fleeting and will pass away. Eternal health is what I seem to lacking and what I should be seeking, more than physical health. the Lord is constantly working with me and on me. I am amazed at His faithfulness.

Oh to be Hot or Cold

" I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then because you are lukewarm, and neither cold not hot I will vomit you out of my mouth.

Revelations 3:15-16

These words have taken on a deeper more personal meaning to me, recently. I was standing in a gloriously hot shower after not having hot water for 2 days, I was praising the Lord for His blessing, which are new everyday. When it hit me , the beauty of hot or cold water.

When I am cold and or dirty,only a hot shower will do. A cleansing, warming, renewing hot shower. Hot tea, hot coffee, hot chocolate, there is a theme here , HOT!

On the flipside is the beauty of cold. On a hot summer day, a clear cool drink of water is what refreshesses. A dip in a cool pool of water is WONDERFUL. Iced Tea or a glass of ice cold lemonaide.

The Lord teaches me so many of the lessons He wants me to learn with illistrations. I just learn better that way. He tells me to Cold or Hot and then He lovingly shows me the beauty and glory of what he means in terms my feeble mind can understand. He shows me that not only does He want me Cold or Hot ans His word says, but He wants me to what He wants, WHEN He wants. Once again I am to trust Him to show me His will and to Obey.

Trust and Obey.

This sounds so simple, yet somehow it seems to be something I struggle with constantly. Do I trust Him? The answer is found in the question, Do I obey Him?

Lukewarm is neither refreshing of renewing. Many times I have dumped out lukewarm drinks. No one wants a lukewarm drink. The Lord says that if I am lukewarm, He will vomit me out of His mouth.

So today I pray to be Cold or Hot in His perfect time, and to follow the One Who loves me and chose me . I so desire to be His handmaiden and to follow my Lord and Master, wherever He may lead.

Merry Christmas!

I say Merry Christmas with a joy and awe I have never known before. I am so where I need to be at this time in my life. I am stuck in awe of the Awesomeness of God. For the first time in my life I have joy at this time of year. I know that sounds strange, but it is true, at age 48 I for the first time have joy.Growing up from about Oct 29,(mom's birthday- Valentines Day) our home was a virtual battle zone. Oh we looked good from the outside but inside was a totally different picture. As an adult it wasn't any better. December 12,(many years ago) my beloved went home to the Lord. Pain and suffering are the things I always associated with this time of year.
This year is so different, the Lord has put joy, real joy in my heart. I'm not talking giddy schoolgirl silly, that passes just as quickly as it comes, but joy. The kind that is with you all the time. It is there when you wake up and when you go to sleep, it is there when you are doing something for someone else or just washing dishes. This is the joy that passes all understanding and just leaves you in awe of God's righteousness and goodness. It is the joy that comes when you know you are loved ,loved by God who loves you because it pleases Him to do so.
I am in the best place I have ever been in in my life and I pray that I stay right here in the arms of THE ONE Who truly loves me.

Warmth

As I sit here in my nice warm home, I am so very grateful. This time last night was such a different story. We returned home last night, after a glorious day spent in worship and fellowship with the Lord and the Lord's children, ( I love the Lord's day), anxious to get in out of the cold. The outside temp was -19, imagine our surprise when it was as cold inside as it was outside. The pilot light on the furnace had gone out sometime during the day. We tried to light the pilot light, this was not to be. Okay now what? For the first time I am so grateful I am a renter and not a home owner. I called after hours maintenance. If I owned that would mean a service call after hours fee, +. after I woke the poor guy up and made him come into the cold and my cold home, he tried to light the pilot light. Not happening for him either. A switch had gone out, he had the part in his truck, he had to work on it and change it in the cold with no way to warm his hands, I felt bad for him , but not bad enough to send him to his nice warm home, until he had fixed my furnace. ;-) Finally, after about an hour and a half, the pilot light was lit. So Kev and I grabbed all the blankets and comforters, and brought them to the living room, turned on the Christmas lights, put in the Christmas cd's we have, put the fireplace tape and made some hot coffee. We sat bundled up with our poor half frozen kitty and thanked the Lord for shelter, food and the coming warmth. At about 4 in the morning my dear son and I were able to take off our gloves and coats, but we stayed snuggled under every blanket and comforter we owned. By 8:30 the house was starting to feel closer to normal,we are experiencing one of the coldest Arctic fronts we have experienced in years.
As I sit here writing this I can laugh, yet at the same time I am sobered to think, I am so very blessed. Not for one moment did I doubt we would have heat,we always had shelter for the winds and blowing snow and we had food. We had an electric microwave and a gas stove and oven and we could cook and prepare something hot. We had hope. TO my thoughts and heart came all those out there without any of these luxuries. How truly blessed we are. Just a few short hours earlier Sunday evening we had been with other Christians, preparing letters and constructing little parachutes for the persecuted saints in other countries. So safe and warm and well fed. In my selfish sinful mind, I was thinking with pride, what a good thing I am doing. I was not really thinking about their sacrifices. Cut off my comforts and it is amazing just how quickly, I am humbled. I thank the Almighty Lord for humbling me, I also thank Him for heat. I still don't have hot water, But I can tell you , I am sure thankful for it. Tomorrow maintenance will be out to thaw pipes, and then I will be able to enjoy the joys of a nice hot shower again. The trial of the last 24 hours seem so minuscule in retrospect, when I really stop and think on the saints and their trials and persecutions. I thank the Lord for the one cold uncomfortable night we spent last night, and I thank Him that it was only one night.Once again I see I really am Loved beyond measure. And I am so sorry I have taken my blessings for granted.