Love Story

I would like to share with you a true love story. A story of Love, between One God and one woman.
This woman was born to a prostitute, torn from a beloved sister and abandoned. Adopted into abuse & rejection. Married into physical, psychological and sexual abuse. Separated from her own dear children . She lived with and became an alcoholic and drug addict. She was told all her life that she was a mistake, not good enough and that she was disposable.
This God pursued, courted, loved, cherished, listened to, died for and rose again for this woman. I know, because I am this woman. One day He reached into the depths of my pain and anguish. He held me in His arms and soothed my tortured soul. He breathed everlasting life into me. He became my Love, my Life, my Lord and my Savior.
The world and the evil one will lie to you, reject you and abuse you. They will try to condemn and destroy you. The Lord, Jesus Christ, speaks truth, forgiveness and Love. He shows grace and mercy.
YOU ARE LOVED!
I know this because He loves me. He longs to restore your soul and refresh you. The world will continue to reject and even hate you for His sake. But you will NEVER again be alone or unloved.
You too can know my God. His name is JESUS CHRIST and He has
done it all for you.
Won’t you
COME FOLLOW HIM?

Beside me all the way!

So much has happened since the last post. My precious Kevin is now 15 years old. It does not seem possible, what an icredible blessing you are to me. My gift for God, Kevin from heaven, I thank the Lord everyday for you. I have and am learning so much thru you. Since the day ofd your birth I have prayed for you and for your future bride and her family,now what a joy to see that you have made a vow of purity and are praying for your future bride and her family as well. the Lord is preparing your heart to become a husband and father one day. I am amazed at the man you are becoming. When I look at all 6ft 3in of you I still can see the 8lb 9oz 21 1/2 inch baby I held for the first time July 14,1993. Has it really been 15 years? The time has flown, and I have cherished every moment of it. I did not plan on being a single mom with a 6 month old baby, but God was not taken unaware and He has been with us every step of the way, and what an exciting way it has been. He has been faithful.
I am amazed by your compassion for others and by the sweetness of your heart. Your willingness to help others and to serve is such a sweet song to my heart. Dear Kevin, you are a blessing to your mother, and it is my great joy in being called Mom.
Something else has happened that I cannot say I was joyous about, as those closest to me know I have had along running fear of doctors, and I avoid them at all costs. Well God does not give us a spirit of fear right? Well I have had chronic pain now for about 8 years, but the time since just about a week before Memorial Day has been at an all time high, and I just could not take anymore. So with much prompting and the love of the Body of Christ , I finally surrendered and went to the doctor's. Thank you, LuCinda for going with me, and to your family, who let me borrow their mom, at 48 I needed a mom myself to be with me. Well, I now have some direction and answers, I am type 2 diabetic and possible fibromyalgia and possibly some other stuff. We are working on the diabetes first.I am on medication now and with some direction, and help and support it looks as though I may have some help in my ongoing battle with my weight. I have tried everything I could find, turns out that my own body has been working against me. Wow, who would have thought? Then I get to thinking, isn't that how I have been when I follow sin? I profess Christ and then I work against Him when I sin. I must fall on my face daily at the foot of the cross and thank God for His faithfulness to me, when I am not so faithful. What a truly Awesome God. Such amazing grace and love He has shown me, and what a joy to know that He is beside me all the way.

Just Mom

A dear sister in Christ sent this to me today, I do not know who the author is. I did not write it but I love it. I love being a mom and I am so glad and grateful God has called me to this high calling. Please read this and enjoy, if anyone knows who wrote this please let me know so we can give credit where credit is due. First and foremost I thank the Lord for the wonderous job of motherhood. To God be all Praise and Glory!

JUST A MOM?
A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office, was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I mean is, " explained the recorder, "do you have a job or are you just a ..?" "Of course I have a job," snapped the woman. "I'm a Mom." "We don't list 'Mom' as an occupation, housewife' covers it," Said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself
in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, "Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar." " What is your occupation?" she probed.. What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out.. "I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations." The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire. "Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest,"just what you do in your field?" Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, "I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) In the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money." There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door. As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 mo nth old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mom."
Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door. Does this make grandmothers "Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations" And great grandmothers "Executive Senior Research Associates?" I think so!!! “I also think it makes Aunts”
“Associate Research Assistants."
May your troubles be less, Your blessing be more,
And nothing but happiness comes through your door!

Everywhere I look I see my Daddy!

A dear friend of mine was talking to me today as she was preparing to sell a car she had that had been her father’s. It has now been a year since he went Home to be with the Lord, and she was remembering him. It was very sweet to hear her as she cleaned, as she remembered him sitting here, or doing that, she just chattered along. Then she said something that made my heart skip a beat,she said, “Everywhere I look I see my Daddy.” As she said these precious words my soul cried out ME TOO! You see everywhere I look I see my Daddy, My Heavenly Father. He is the One my soul yearns for, the One whose lap I crawl into and it is His arms I long to have around me. As she spoke, I heard the great love in her voice; she had for her daddy, also the deep pain that he was no longer with her. Death is very painful, even when you know that a loved one is with the Lord, and you will see them again. I have known the pain of the loss of loved ones, I have seen the passing of my parents, my husband and I have known the pain of miscarriage. The separation is painful and the loss very real, yet somehow as time goes on, you can remember and smile and the sweetness of the relationship comes back, and strange as it may sound you learn to embrace the pain. The remembering is bittersweet at times. The joy is tempered by pain and the pain is tempered by the love. What a comfort to know that my Lord, my Master, my God, my Savior knows these things too. Everywhere I look, I too see my Daddy, my Heavenly Father. If I am His and He is mine then He is always with me, because He said, “I will never leave you or forsake you.” He is my High tower and my Shelter from the Storm.
I love my parents because they loved me. They were the first ones to show me love. When I had my children, I fell hopelessly in love each and every time I looked into that precious face, or help that dear sweet baby. I have come to see that my limited love is as nothing, compared to the love of God. How much more Love has my Heavenly Father shown me than any earthly father ever could? My heavenly Father loves me completely, and He prepared the only way for me to return to Him, thru the shed blood of His Only Begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have, everlasting life. He loves each and every one of His children and He loved us first. It was because of His love that He chose to become man, to live and to
die. Because He is God, perfect and sinless to Rise again and sit on His Throne. He and He alone was able to pay the Blood Price for sin, He knows every tear that falls. Now that is LOVE. I don’t know why He chose me, but I know I am glad He did.

“Oh how I love Jesus, Oh how I love Jesus, Oh how I love Jesus,
Because He first loved me!”

Long Country roads

Sticking with it!

I have been thinking a lot about what this July 4th means to me this year. I thought back to our Founding Fathers, and what must have been on their hearts and minds and the motivation, behind the decisions they made. What I saw was a love of God and family,perseverance and sacrifice. What motivated them 232 years ago to write the Declaration of Independence, and what motivates many of us today are the same things. Love of God and of family. Is God someone I have a relationship with or just a pretty coat I put on when I feel like it, to impress others. Is God real to me? Do I sacrifice and persevere? I have been learning from my precious son, Kevin( my gift from heaven) he has been preparing for a 5k run/walk these past 3 weeks. That is 3.1 miles. He has been training on country roads all by himself, he asked 4 different people if they wanted to train with him, 3 said no, the other as quickly as he saw just how far 3.1 miles was,quite also. Kevin who loves to sleep was out either at 6:30 am or 7 pm training. The first time he did 1 mile it took him an hour. Wednesday the 2ndof July he did 5 k in 1 hour 17 min. Yesterday , the 4th he did his first 5k walk/run with precious family from our church and finished in 56 min. Here are some pictures of him on these long lonely country roads.(don't look at the dates on the pictures, I don't know how to set the date?) and then Kev, ready to cross the finish line with, Daniel and Jeannie w/Hawkeye. He preservered and he finished the race, the race started out on those country roads not at the starting line. There was preparation and sacrifice, long before recorded finish. I am seeing that there is still the race to be run, many have gone before me. I have a heritage of honor that came before me, and a heritage of honor that is coming after me, I will not be found wanting. I see my son develping relationship with God and with others. He loves his family, not just his earthly family, but his family, that is the body of Christ. He is learning to make decisions that may require sacrfice and perserveance. There maybe times when none will go with him, but he will do what he knows in his heart to be right. He is learning much more than being able to travel 3.1 miles, he is learning how to be a man. I am seeing the transformation from a boy to a man, and I am very blessed. There will be many lessons along the road and I pray that he will continue in grace and honor. I am so grateful to all who have encouraged him along the way, he is looking forward to next year. He wants to finish in under 20 min next year. I'm sure he will, and I am sure he will learn many other lessons along the way. I asked him what went through his mind out on those country roads all by himself, he said he sang songs to the Lord and prayed, and he was appreciating all that God has done for him in his life. Maybe we all need long lonely country roads , that really aren't so lonely.

Repeating lessons

This is another piece I had written a year or so ago and it came back to me today. I was reading through some of my past writings and came across this. I came to realize how far the Lord has brought me, but I see there is still soooo much more work to do. I keep working on attitude with my son and I see my Father is working on attitude with me. I was getting frustrated, thinking, just how many times do we have to takkle this lesson, and then I relized, God has been working with me for 48 years, I've only been working with my son for 14.( he will be 15 on 7/14) My pastor has spoken of dilligence, well God sure has been dilligent with me, and I have been known to grumble and complain.( oh no not another lesson not learned) Oh will I ever learn?

Living with the Lunatic in My Mirror

STOP your anger. Turn off your wrath.
Don’t fret and worry, it only leads to harm
Psalm 37:8
I have been told, “Write what you know.” Well, I know anger, frustration and sin. Frustration (that is fret & worry) and the anger that comes from it is sin.
Today as I stormed through my house, in the middle of a conflict with my 12- year old son, I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror. What I saw there was not pretty, loving or even sane. What I saw was what I had seen on my mother’s face when I was a child. A look that had made my blood curdle in fear and later boil in rage. It was also the same look I had seen on the dear face of my son as he screamed in defiance and frustration. It was the look of being out of control and not having a clue. I had learned it as a child, and taught it as a mother.
I’d like to tell you that it stopped me dead in my tracks, but I can’t. It was only later, after we were in separate parts of the house & each of us stewing in our pain & frustration, that my Heavenly Father brought the images to my mind’s eye, of my mother, my son and myself. At first my heart was broken and I was horrified, oh if only I could have stayed in a broken state. But NO! I had to make excuses and try to justify myself. “I’m a single mom and I’m trying so hard to be everything to everyone. Mom, Dad, homemaker, cook, chauffer, employee, choir member, secret sister, friend. It is all too much and I am only one person, Don’t I DESERVE respect and help? Of course I am going to yell and get ugly sometime!”
Even as I was thinking these things, I knew that I was wrong. I have choices and sometimes I have made poor ones. I had to handle everything by myself because I had chosen to. I am a child of The King, He promises to be Husband to the widow and Father to the fatherless. I was not consulting my Heavenly Husband. I had not taken the son He had blessed me with back to his Heavenly Father. I was in sin. My anger and frustration came directly from my sin.
Oh! How thankful I am to have a God, who is faithful, loving and patient. He forgives and corrects me. His Love is perfect and complete. He promises that He will love me even when I am the “Lunatic in the Mirror.”

Treasure Hunt

Where are they? What could I have done with them? Not again! Not Now! We are going to be late. UGGGGGG! I have to find them, right now. Okay! STOP Breathe, In, Out. Think. Where did I have them last? Last night, I came in from the store, where is my purse? They are not in my purse… Bathroom! No, not there. Kitchen! I put the Milk away are they in the refrigerator? No! Oh I am so not in the mood for a scavenger hunt. How can I be so careless? How many times have I said to Kevin, “If you put things away you won’t have to go looking for them.” Now is not the time for my own words to come back to haunt me. Okay keep looking, they could not have just gotten up and walked away. Now is not the time to panic. BREATHE! IN! OUT! IN! OUT! Where next? Pantry? NO! Freezer. The little one? Of course not, the big one. The one that I just dump everything into. How will I ever find anything in there? KEVIN, GET ME A COUPLE BOXES AND THE EMPTY LAUNDRY BASKET WOULD YOU PLEASE? Here put the meat in that one, the veggies over there hey look some apples we froze 2 years ago. They still look okay, leave those out and we’ll fix an apple crisp for dinner. What am I doing? What do you mean what am I’m doing? I’m cleaning out the freezer, what does it look like I’m doing? Late? Late for what? Oh yea! Well I can’t find the keys. Help me look for them, Please? You have them? They were on the floor and the cat was playing with them? Oh what a precious boy you are! Thank you so much for picking them up! What would I do without you? Well, we better hurry and dump all this back into the freezer! I’ll organize it later.
I went looking for keys and found a treasure. My son! The precious gift from my Lord, my child. I am supposed to be teaching you, grace, forgiveness, mercy and love. You have and are showing me so much more than I have you. I am amazed how each and everyday I am given so much more than I could have ever asked. It amazes and humbles me to see how much I have to learn, and how so many times the Lord uses the mouth and heart of a precious child to teach me.

At that time the disciples came to Jesus saying, “Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”
Then Jesus called a little child to Him, set him in the midst of them, and said, “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

Matthew 18:1-4

Are You SANE?

I knew I was in trouble today, because by 9:13 am in I was calling a very busy home schooling mother of 6 small children to ask “ARE YOU SANE?” and hoping she would answer yes, because I was not. But guess what? She was not home. What was I to do? I stopped, took a deep
breath, put pen to paper, prayed, thanked my Heavenly Father for the insanity (in all things give thanks) and then started to write.
I wonder if He does let the crazy and out of control times come into my
life, so that I realize I am not god and that He is.
For the past few weeks situations and problems have been coming at me
like paintballs.( see how my teenage son has influenced me?) They don’t hurt when they miss you but when they hit, Oweee! All around me, I see the splats from the misses and I have some of the spray on me from the near misses. I know some should have been direct hits, but my “Shield of Protection” must have been in place, and I didn’t even know it.
Today at this moment in time my Sword of the Spirit is my pen and God is wielding it. When I sat down to write I thought this was going in one direction, but the Lord is taking it in another. He is reminding me that everyday I am in a battle, whether I realize it or not. What a powerful image, He has brought to my heart and mind, I live everyday on a battlefield.
It has become so familiar that I have forgotten, this is not my home. I have been here so long that I have tried to decorate it and put in flowers and make it pretty, but when I realized my salvation and began to follow Jesus, He gave me a new home. All the work that I do on my own is for nothing; it is just trampled flowers on a battlefield. His work is what counts. He is the One who dresses me for the battle. He is the One who trains me, and He is the Only Commander-in-Chief that I know of, who is on the battlefield with me, leading, guiding, healing & comforting.
So today I will put on the Full Armor of God & follow the Only One
who is truly Sane!